If brand Beckham is truly serious about redeeming the USA for the beautiful game, here, perhaps, is his next Posh-inspired incarnation. Style gurus will have warned "Golden Balls" that a previous Mohican hairstyle is just too threatening – and potentially offensive – to indigenous Americans. Winning over the Bible belt requires subtlety and discretion. A crown of thorns, then? At the same time, Mr B can show the colonials what real football is all about – and what the UK Premiership is missing – with a mesmerising, Messianic overhead scissor kick.
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